(9) Abel

Life was hard on that farm, the whole family worked from dawn to dusk, as well as us foreigners. At first I was the only foreigner, but later they sent two more French prisoners, another Pole, Stephan, and a Ukrainian man, who later poisoned himself as he just couldn't cope with life.

One of the Frenchmen, his name was Abel, really did not like to work too hard. He would regularly go for breaks, and spend ages sitting on the toilet.

There were three toilets, one for the Boss, one for the German workers, and one for us Foreigners. Despite this segregation, they all drained in to a single huge concrete tank, along with the cow and horse manure. Every spring, we used to pump it out and spread it on the meadow. At least we had equality when it came to excrement! They really were just a seat with a hole that led via a pipe in to the cesspit. If there was "a blockage", my job was to fetch a long stick ram it up from the pit side and undo the blockage.

Stephan and I were working in the yard when Rottlander came up to us and said

"Where's Abel?"

"He's on the bog again sir" I replied with a smile.

Well Rottlander went purple and stormed off towards the toilet block closely followed by Stephan and me. We just saw Abel's feet below the stall door. Rottlander gave us a conspiratorial wink, and tiptoed round the back. He picked up my unblocking stick, chose his pipe carefully and rammed it hard up in to the unsuspecting Frenchman's backside. Abel let out an almighty scream, and shot forward, through the stall door and landed outside with his trousers round his ankles!

"Get back to work you lazy bastard" thundered Rottlander.

Stephan and I were just doubled up with mirth, as Rottlander chased the unfortunate, Abel who was trying to pull up his trousers and run at the same time muttering something about the Boche.